"Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs."

John Osborne

That warm feeling I got when my romantic comedy Heteroflexible advanced to quarterfinals in its first screenwriting competition at Blue Cat, became a warm, wet feeling when I read the script analysis.

Now, I do love my criticism. And it being emphatic is, to me, all the better. I'm known for rather acerbic critiques in my novel and screenplay groups. So I'm not really whining, just relating that odd sensation of having read both this: "When you're insulting,  you're just insulting."

And then advancing with the top 20 percent.

While the analysis samples on the Blue Cat site were all fairly even handed with good points/bad points in the 600 words they promise you, my reader gave up precisely 23 words with a tepid line about "a story that hasn't been seen before," then waylaid me for 1017 more. (I got bonus words!)

Other great moments in my feedback were, "so incredibly stereotypical," "I don't buy it," and "clearly a first draft." At the end I was encouraged to "go back to the outline and really work on it" with a reminder that "with most scripts, your goal is to make it into a film."

It's hard to imagine this is also the judge who advanced it. I did some digging around to see if BlueCat had separate critics from judges, but wasn't able to find out for certain. It seems expensive for them to have two people read it, but who knows, maybe I was early in the pile and this critic liked the others even less.

I know humor is hard to write. And the subject matter for this story is easily the most controversial I've ever endeavored. I run the risk of alienating everybody, even the demographic the tale holds in the highest esteem.

But I do believe in this story. And I'm finishing up the novel version, which I recently cut down to 43,000 words to get rid of distracting story elements and slow scenes, gradually building it back up to the 80K minimum for a novel. I've incorporated some of the more specific feedback from this analysis into the novel, but I'm not really sure how to address the generalities of being insulting and stereotypical and not believable.

The story has a long way to go yet. The screenplay has only been through two drafts, and I'm on the second draft of the book. 

But before I put either version before any more critics, I'll make sure I'm dressed in something that won't show the wet spots.